It's been a month since my last life update post... time flies, and I feel like my life's been stuck on 'fast-forward'. It's been a 'testing' week for me. Lots of random thoughts for this post...
"I love that you want to see the best in people, but please be careful. Because sometimes seeing the best just means not seeing the truth." -Hart of Dixie (the only TV series I follow; thanks to DVR.)
I think that's me. I see the best in everyone (although it sounds good)...is it a personality flaw? Not sure...something to think about though.
Tuesday, May 1st... Ryan's 1st trip to the ER. 27.5 months old. Mommy & Ryan photo shoot, running, tripped then flew over a set of railroad tracks. Front left tooth plunged into inside of top lip and slightly all the way through his lip. He cried inconsolably for 30 minutes & as he cried, it bled. I was a basket case. (Keep in mind; I deal with 'sick/hurt children with neurotic parents' at work. However, this did NOT prevent me from becoming an anxious, worried, neurotic parent myself. When it's your baby; it's a completely different ballgame!) Made the decision that holding Ryan down for sutures would be more traumatic than the actual laceration. Luckily, it was on the inside of his mouth & the mouth heal quickly. Day 4; it's still swollen. My poor baby.
I had a single-parent mommy meltdown on Monday night. It's tough doing this parenting thing alone. I'll be the first to admit, I took for granted how much Jerad did help me out. Even the small, "Go play with Daddy while Mama _____." was helpful. (At the time, it didn't seem like he was doing enough...but looking back, he did. So ladies, when you see your husband, fiance, boyfriend...make sure you acknowledge their help today!) I now do everything... with Ryan not too far away. Not complaining; but it's different...
And Monday...well, Ryan and I were both having a bad day. He was fussy most of the day. We decided to go eat. He dropped everything under the table (which he HAD to go cave diving after)- as soon as the food arrived, he had to pee (which I think he just wants to get up from the table and see every public restroom)- go back to the table and our food was cold; of course- set him bedside me at the nice, hard wooden benches that Fat Boys has- as he sits down, he slams his back into the corner of the bench and starts screaming. I pick him up; set him in my lap- rocking, cuddling and 'shhh-ing' in his ear...& at that moment I wanted to cry. But I didn't...I was just overwhelmed and felt so alone. It wasn't until we were on the way home when Ryan said, "I've gotta pee pee."-- pulled over on the side of the road in a grove to find out that he'd already peed and soaked his entire car seat...that I laughed. ("Hold it baby" is NEVER an option for a newly-potty-trained toddler.)
Ryan is talking...up a storm (a phrase my Mama would say). I hear, "Mama, Mama, Mama.." before he tells me whatever he's got to say; at least 200 times a day. He can count to 10...but we're still working on colors. He knows exactly which shoe goes on which foot- which I find advanced for his age. I feel like my heart is out in the world, walking around outside of my body...and essentially it is.
Between work and Ryan- my social life is depleted. Yes, friends and family; I am alive and doing well :)
Next... a post about work.
No comments:
Post a Comment